Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday Five--Seeking what?

So Jan posted on RevGalBlogPals
I was struck in our weekly Lectio Divina group by a few verses from Psalm 105:3-4:

. . . let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Seek the Lord and his strength;
seek his presence continually.

Seeking is rejoicing. Rejoicing comes from the seeking, NOT the end of glory, heaven, enlightenment, or whatever. Seeking is the journey--RIGHT NOW!

So for this Friday Five, list what you are seeking, whether it is trivial, profound, or ordinary--whatever you would like to share! List 5 and add a bonus if you feel like it!
I have two thoughts to share of what I am seeking. Or perhaps only one because they are related, or now that I think about it three.

One of the things I struggle with, particularly post cancer, is how to live my life. I mean LIVE my life, not going through the motions, not dulling my senses with surfing the internet. How can I live intentionally each moment. It's a difficult task. It is much easier to waste my time on the internet or with computer games. It's easier not to feel the emotions that sometimes come up--fear, regret, sorrow, sadness, loneliness. When I stuff those feelings, I don't leave room for joy, companionship, happiness, exhileration.

Yesterday a friend asked me "Where do you find meaning?" And the answer is beauty. And I (mis?)quoted I think Keats (?) "Truth is beauty, beauty, truth. That is all you know on earth and all you need to know." As I have thought about what draws me to photography it is beauty--beauty in flowers (my current photography passion), landscape, cities, people, places, nature. I've posted a link on my FB in the last couple of weeks to Dewitt Jones, a photographer who has also done some amazing motivational videos. (A couple were used for a new pastor retreat in Lake Michigan presbytery.) He also writes a bimonthly column for Outdoor Photography. He has started a discipline of finding something beautiful to photograph everyday.

Beauty is what I seek. And I want to share that. And so my latest idea, project, is printing my flower photographs on fabric and then making art throw pillows. A friend made some fantastic suggestions which bring together my love of textiles and color with the photographs. And so I am thinking seriously about melding these together into a "business" to sell my art pillows.

I've also been playing with an idea for a stole for a friend--it's a much guttsier stole than I have made before but I am in love with the idea of piecing together beautiful silks and satins into a stole that (abstractly) tells a story that we both connect to.

Where I am today.


Anonymous said...

I am posting this anonymously, but you will know that it's me. I'm taking the stole which you just sent me, such a wonderful gift and sign of hope, to the hospital today, and I am going to put it on, perhaps over my hospital gown, and bless everything and everyone around me before my biopsies. Thank you for making that possible.

Purple said...

What a gift to read this. Thanks.

Joan Calvin said...

Anonymous, I don't know what to say. That you would use my gift in such a way brings tears to my eyes. I wish so much good and hope to you. May God be with you and the doctors, nurses, techs, maintenance staff and everyone there today.

Jan said...

Thank you for sharing so deeply. I feel like my pattern of coping with emotional distress is to ignore it, too. I thought I was getting better at acknowledging what's going on, until a current dilemna--and you described succinctly what I do.

Your project sounds beautiful. I hope you will post pictures of the production and end products!

altar ego said...

I love your post. Thank you for sharing your quest and appreciation for beauty. I take a page from that same book. Beauty matters a great deal to my soul. Not sure why that is, but I know it to be true, so I don't really bother with trying to figure it out.

The stole project sounds wonderful. I've made one meaningful stole in my life, and there's another one lurking within me. It's time hasn't come, I figure. Blessings to you. Beauty to you.