Friday, June 18, 2010

Survivor's guilt

I have it. I got a good report from my CA-125 test (a marker for ovarian cancer). But a friend I know only through blogging has melanoma metastasized to her blood and bones. She young, just finished seminary. Another friend has cancer that spread to four of the nearest lymph glands. She'll be doing chemo then radiation.

Overall survival rates for 5 years is 44.2 percent (stats from 2002). But, it has a 93 percent rate for those cancers that are localized, which mine was. To be so unlucky, I was really lucky.

It's so hard for me to process this. I can't imagine that I have had cancer. It seems so unreal. So not me. But I know the anxiety. And I worry about friends who are much too young with much worse prognoses than mine.

Cancer is so random and so unfair.


Songbird said...

I have some, too, for a different reason, as I go to bed relieved while another mom here grieves her child. I'm glad you're well, sorry you have to feel this way.

Robin said...

Huh. Life in general is random and unfair.

I'm glad that its randomness is in your favor tonight.