Saturday, August 23, 2008

Death

I woke up this morning feeling depressed. Really depressed. After bemoaning my fate and wondering how it could be connected to the fact that I really don't want to be here and then considering how much wellbutrin I should take, reality grabbed hold of me.

I have been reading books on death and cancer. I am trying to come to grips with my own mortality. I truly believe a major problem with our society today is our fear of and subsequent denial of death. Paradoxically, if we want to live, we must acknowledge the reality of death. But, we do so much to avoid that knowledge: addictions cover the knowledge (addictions to work to computers, to substances, to shopping, to just about anything you can imagine). Addictions and everything we do to avoid facing the fact of our own mortality brings immediate death. We swap grappling with our ultimate death with immediate death of the soul.

And so, I think my early morning (and continuing) feelings were not depression but sadness and grief. Sadness and grief at my own mortality. I find it interesting that among my first reactions was to reach for a pill to remove the suffering and let me get own with "life."

(Now, for real depression, medicine can be a great boon. Depression can prevent people from living and medicine can help.)

Suffering is a part of life. If we do not feel pain, we cannot feel joy. When we deaden the pain of suffering, we deaden the receptors for joy also.

3 comments:

Gannet Girl said...

I am so happy to heat your test results. And also grateful for your large heart and its capacity to encompass the sadness you describe.

Wellbutrin Prescription Medication said...

My name is Tricia Hurley and i would like to show you my personal experience with Wellbutrin.

I am 54 years old. Have been on Wellbutrin for 1 year now. Helps with depression. No weight gain like with Zoloft or decreased libido like with Prozac. I do think Prozac worked better and the only reason I went off it was my husband complained about that libido thing.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Involuntary jerks of hands and legs. Feels like when you're about to fall asleep and suddenly jerk awake, but this is in the daytime. Often feel like adrenaline is flooding my stomach.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Tricia Hurley

freefun0616 said...

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,酒店,