Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I have been sick. Battling my annual fight with my sinuses. I think it is now over. I was so sick on Saturday, that I slept for about 15 hours (with a one hour interval of wakefulness to eat breakfast). I started taking antibiotics. I am always reluctant because I'm never convinced they help. I'm still not convinced, but I do feel better. I had thought about starting on Thursday when I began feeling really sick. But I didn't. Maybe next year, I will start them earlier. I wonder if I started them when my sinuses first begin to bother me (mid February) I could cut through the yucky feeling completely. One of my parishioners said that Memphis is the cause of sinus infections. Everywhere I have lived people have blamed the environment for their sinus ills: Ohio, Michigan, California, Memphis. I have a feeling it's age, not the environment.

I am finally beginning to lose a little weight. I am at the lowest I have been in several year. But I weigh 20 pounds more than I did when I graduated from seminary almost 6 years ago. That gives you some idea of what pastoring dying churches does to one (not to mention the cancer). I'm eating about 1200 calories a day and (except when I'm sick) either swimming or running everyday but Sunday. I think I should be losing more weight given the calorie intake (or rather the lack thereof) and the exercise. I'm having my thyroid tested next week. I'm going to press for an increase in my synthroid. Otherwise, I feel pretty good.

I'm fairly depressed with the Bible study I'm leading for Lent. It's on discipleship. And I'm not getting much reaction. I don't think folks like it very much. The church is definitely dying. We "celebrate" our 100th anniversary next year. That is definitely depressing me. I have now reached the point where I am assured of health coverage until I qualify for medicare (2.5 years hence). So, my major concern is taken care of. I'm not sure I want another call, but I have sent my PIF off for two EP positions. In my mind at least, I would commit to working another 5 years and I'm not sure I want to work that long. I would like to work 3.5 more years, but only if I were doing something I really liked. On the other hand, I'm a bit afraid of retirement: who would I be?

My contract ends on September 18. I have told session that after that date, I won't be around. The clerk moved that the PNC that called me be reconvened to consider calling me to an installed position. I can't imagine that they wouldn't call me, but still, I'd sure like to know whether I'll have a job. In the meantime, I am perusing the opportunity list. I'd like to do a couple of interims, except that they would cut into my travel schedule and they are hard to come by.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I hope the way becomes clear for you.

Magdalene6127 said...

Joan, just a technicality... sounds like you are designated? I am too. IN this instance, if a full search was done initially, the Session acts as the PNC, and the PNC is not re-convened. And the vote (if there is one... and I think you can advise them if one would make sense, given that you don't want to be around) does not take place until you have been there at least 2 years (maybe you already have).

Sounds like such a tough moment for you. Are you seeing someone to talk about the depression? It sounds perfectly understandable given all the particulars... the battle with cancer the dying church. But I hope you have some supports in place.

Blessings, friend.